


You can't hold my heart no more.

by hyungwonho



Series: Do you know the way I feel about you? [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Porn, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Boyfriends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Humor, HyungWonho - Freeform, Lee Hoseok - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, Original Character(s), Riding, Smoking, Smut, Top Chae Hyungwon, chae hyungwon - Freeform, cursing, it's been 3 years i need to stop thinking about this story and adding parts to it it's been ENOUGH, kiho, kpop, monsta x - Freeform, self deprication, yoo kihyun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:35:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungwonho/pseuds/hyungwonho
Summary: [Where Hyungwon has finally moved on but now Hoseok wants him back.]
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Chae Hyungwon/Original Male Character(s), Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Yoo Kihyun
Series: Do you know the way I feel about you? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1519331
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	You can't hold my heart no more.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I'm back and I'm so sorry, I swear this is the end.

“You’re a vocalist, you shouldn’t be smoking.” Hyungwon says turning to look at the younger man laying beside him. 

“I don’t do it often, don’t worry about me.” Hyunwook replies exhaling the smoke softly, he offers him the cigarette but the other shakes his head. 

“Idols shouldn’t smoke.”

“I'm still a trainee.” He says daringly.

“Well I hope you really keep it secret, smoking scandals are a pain in the future.” Hyunwook sighs and puts it out before propping himself up on one elbow. “I hate you.”

“You don’t.” Hyungwon says with a chuckle.

“You’re right.” He gives up laying back down. 

“Most of the times I am.” Hyunwook springs up at that, straddling the older man’s torso and looking down at him. 

“I have to go…” Hyungwon says warningly, holding him by the waist. The other pouts a little and moves to sit beside him, Hyungwon sits up and ruffles his hair before getting off the bed. He puts on his underwear and jeans and goes to the bathroom to wash his face and hands. When he comes outside Hyunwook is fully dressed and on his phone. 

“Are we still going shopping this weekend?” He asks looking up from the screen.

“Of course, why wouldn’t we?” Hyungwon answers putting on his shirt. Hyunwook shrugs.

“You hadn’t mentioned it again, I thought maybe you’ll ditch me.” He replies and Hyungwon laughs. 

“I would never!” Hyunwook smiles. “See you, text me later.” He says and the younger boy flips him off, he laughs again and exits his room. He greets some of the trainees hanging in the living room shyly, earning a chorus of “hi sunbaenim” back before exiting their dorm.

They were friends. Things escalated along the way... but they were just friends, who happened to sleep together. Hyunwook was 21, he had joined the company a year ago but Hyungwon met him 4 months ago. Him and the members were sent to meet the trainees and encourage them, they brought them coffee and talked to them. 

The next day, Hyunwook approached Hyungwon out of the blue, he first talked about how their names were really similar and then went on to say how much he admired him and Monsta X. Hyungwon felt flattered, a bit taken aback because the boy was extremely blunt and had little to no filter while talking, but he was funny; so when he asked for his number he didn’t think too much about it. A month of casual texting and unplanned coffee when bumping into each other later, after a couple of drinks at a company party, they ended up hooking up. At first Hyungwon wanted to cut ties, but he couldn’t resist the boy’s charms. 

“ _Your hair looks nice._ ” Hyungwon receives accompanied by a heart eyed emoji later that night. “ _You could’ve said that to my face, I was waiting for you to say something._ ” He replies. “ _Didn’t wanna boost your ego too much._ ” He laughs out loud.

“Huh?” Minhyuk questions him. They were all bundled up on Shownu, Jooheon and Changkyun’s room playing video games. 

“Oh sorry, just Hyunwook.” The other just nods, everyone knows they’re friends but they don’t see him often, even less know about the nature of their friendship.

“Ey, ey, no PDA while we play!” Jooheon says acting grumpily after Hoseok giggles loudly sitting on top of Kihyun. Hyungwon doesn’t even give them a second glance. It’s been 5 months since that dreadful afternoon at the cafe with Hoseok. Everyone had noticed the evident distance between the couple and Hyungwon, but no one dared question it, it was still a secret only the 3 of them shared. It still hurt him, but he was slowly feeling better, and he would be lying if he said his new friendship with Hyunwook didn’t help him go through it. 

_

“You should get me some ice cream sunbaenim.” Hyunwook begs with wide eyes. “Im just a broke trainee.” He sighs.

“You're the devil.” Hyungwon says walking towards the food court. The younger man smiles widely and intertwines their arms, skipping gleely beside him. “What’s gotten into you?” He says taken aback by the physical gesture. “You're eerily happy.”

“This is jut a front, this week has been hell, very tiring, very discouraging, many weird thoughts going through my mind.” He replies sounding serious. “That’s why I'm glad to be here with you!” He says cheerful again. Hyungwon remains silent for a while as they wait in line.

“Are you ok?” Hyunwook nods. “What about your friends?” 

“The other trainees? I mean, we’re friends but is not the same as with you, they don’t let me suck their dicks.” Hyungwon slaps his shoulder, hard. “Ouch!”

“Watch your mouth!” He says trying to look intimidating but they burst in laughter. “You can count on me though, if you ever need help.”

“I know.” He replies with a small smile, there’s another silence but his attention is soon directed towards the ice cream since it’s their turn to order now. 

_

When Hyungwon said this, he meant it, but he wasn’t expecting Hyunwook to call him in despair just a couple of days later.

“H-hyungwon…” He whispers and the older can notice he has been crying. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks immediately, his voice raising a little and bringing the attention of the other boys towards him. They were having dinner at one of their usual places.

“I’ve been trying to get through it, I really have but… Im tired of feeling alone you know, that’s why I'm calling you. Y-you said I could…”

“Of course, of course you can.”

“I feel like, no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.”

“Where are you?” Hyungwon asks, at this point the others are giving him worried looks.

“Are you back at your dorm? Shit! You were out for dinner tonight, I shouldn’t have call-”

“Hey, it’s ok, just tell me where are you right now and-”

“No! It’s ok.”

“I already left.” He lies.

“Dance practice room…” He sniffles. 

“Be right there.” Hyungwon takes his jacket and stands up from the table. “Hey guys I need to leave, something came up.”

“Is everything ok?” Hyunwoo asks worriedly.

“Yeah, yeah. Just a friend in need.” He chuckles to lighten the mood. “See you later.” He waves and exits the place quickly.

“I bet it’s Hyunwook, the trainee.” Minhyuk says popping a fry into his mouth with a smirk.

“Probably yeah, they’ve been inseparable lately.” Changkyun adds.

“I think they’re dating.” Minhyuk gossips. Hoseok’s head shoots up.

“You think so?” He says without thinking, Kihyun looks at him taken aback.

“I feel the vibes.” He replies closing his eyes and making hand gestures in the air. “Remember our theory about him hooking up with someone after that party? I'm pretty sure it was him.” He sips on his drink.

“Min, stop reading fanfiction.” Jooheon says and the others laughs, Hoseok just chuckles awkwardly. “It’s obvious they’re just friends, they barely even touch each other, they just hang out casually.”

“Time will tell.” He adds and with that the conversation is over. 

A couple of minutes later Hyungwon arrives at his destination. Hallways are just dimly illuminated and various muffled audios can be heard as he walks by, there must be other groups rehearsing too. He finally gets to one that has the lights one but no music is coming out, he peaks his head inside and finds Hyunwook sprawled laying on his back just staring at the ceiling. He closes the door and dims down the lights before laying beside him.

“Staring at that is gonna give you a headache.”

“I already have one…” The younger man says softly. “You didn’t have to come.” There’s a silence. “But thank you.” He looks at him and Hyungwon smiles.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hyunwook nods after a while.

“Have you ever felt like you’re an obstacle for your group like… I'm supposed to be a vocalist but I'm not the main vocalist, I also dance well but not a main dancer, I’m good looking but I'm not the visual. I keep making this… stupid mistakes, and the other boys don’t say anything about it but I feel like I'm the reason our debut keeps being delayed. Damn, I feel like they won’t even consider me for the group when they decide to debut it! We’re too many members, they’re definitely gonna leave people out…” He stays silent for a moment, Hyungwon just listens. “I f-feel like no matter how hard I try Im just mediocre at everything I'm doing!” He cries. “I want this so badly, I’ve dedicated so many years to this, gone through many agencies, this is literally my last shot.”

“Hey… It’s ok. We’ve all been through that, well not everyone goes through it I won’t lie to you, but I know how you feel.”

“You do?” He nods. “How? You’re good at everything and you’re a visual too.”

“I am officially a visual yes but I struggle a lot too. I don’t get many lines and-”

“That’s because they’re stupid and deaf!” He exclaims, Hyungwon chuckles.

“So, as a fan you know it doesn’t mean you’re not good at it, sometimes that’s just how things are… I struggle with dancing too, I'm too quiet during interviews…” Hyunwook turns his body towards him. “But this is not about me, I just want you to know that it’s ok to feel like this, just don’t let it discourage you. Being an idol is not easy, we all struggle and go through our stuff but if this is what you really want to do don’t ever stop working for it. Things do get better, you’ll eventually find that place you’re longing for, your members will become your brothers, your fans will encourage you to be better. You’re a great vocalist and dancer, and you have a terrific sense of humor, you’ll be the king of variety shows!” He adds enthusiastically, Hyunwook laughs.

“You mean it?” His smile quickly falters into a pout, his eyes pouring tears by the second. Hyungwon has never seen this vulnerable side of him before so it takes him by surprise. He stays calm though, bringing his hands to the boy’s face and wiping his cheeks.

“Of course I do.” 

“Thanks Wonie, you’re the best.” The other chuckles.

“What’s with the nickname?”

“I felt like it, might use it from now on.” He smiles. “Unless it bothers you.” Hyungwon shakes his head.

“Want to go for coffee?” He offers. 

“I would love to, but I really need a good sleep right now.”

“You’re right, I’ll just walk you to your dorm then.”

“What a gentleman.” He replies sarcastically before standing up. Hyungwon smiles again because the boy’s attitude is back. “I feel so fucking embarrassed, I can’t believe you came all the way here to listen to me cry like a brat.” He adds wiping his face with his sleeves.

“Stop complaining and let’s go.”

“I hate you.” He says taking his backpack from the floor.

“You don’t.” Hyungwon replies exiting the room.

They walk in a comfortable silence that’s only broken when the younger boy stops to pet a stray cat, they’re almost reaching the building’s entrance.

“Don’t you dare touch me with that hand.” Hyungwon threatens running away from him as Hyunwook chases him around for a couple of minutes. Their laugh echoes in the empty streets, it’s way past midnight. 

“Ok, ok. I’ll stop now.” He crouches down holding his knees and taking deep breaths. Hyungwon stands straight in front of him. They’re standing by the door now.

“Are you sure you’ll be ok?”

“Yes, thank you, I really mean it.”

“Stop thanking me, I said it’s ok.” He smiles.

“Still.” He rolls his eyes and Hyungwon laughs. “See you.” 

“See you, text me or call me anytime.” Hyungwon says with a tiny close fingered wave that Hyunwook finds a little bit cute. 

Unnoticed, he steps forward and brings their lips together, his hands resting softly on the taller man’s chest. Hyungwon’s eyes widen, it’s obviously not their first kiss but they never kiss each other unless they’re in bed, so it takes him by surprise; but he soon closes them and melts into it. 

“I will.” Hyunwook replies with a wink after they’ve pulled apart. Hyungwon nods, not knowing what else to say and the younger boy finally enters his dorm. He waits until he sees him disappear up the stairs.

_

Something shifted after that night and as time goes by their relationship only grows stronger, to the point they meet each other more than once a week. 

“ _Are we seeing each other today?_ ” Hyunwook texts him early that morning. Hyungwon grunts and decides to call him, too lazy to type.

“I feel like shit.” He says with hoarse voice.

“What happened?” He asks worriedly.

“I'm not sure… Maybe caught a cold, body hurts a little too.”

“Yeah… It could be a cold. Poor Wonie.” He says the last phrase in a baby voice.

“If I could punch you through the phone I would.”

“I would do other stuff.” Hyunwook replies shamelessly. “Oh wait, we can!”

“Shut up, just please shut up…” He replies in despair, making Hyunwook laugh loudly.

“Ok, I’ll leave you to die in peace. See you later.” He says with a little hint of mischief on his voice but Hyungwon doesn’t catch it.

“See you...” He hangs up and falls asleep quickly after taking some pills. 

That evening there’s soft knocking on the door; Kihyun, Minhyuk and Hoseok that are hanging out in the living room are taken a aback because they never have visitors. Kihyun stands up and peaks through the peep hole to see Hyunwook standing there. 

“H-hi.” He says shyly and Kihyun greets him before letting him in.

“Hellooo.” Minhyuk replies from the couch.

“I came to see Wonie.” Minhyuk’s smile widens. 

“I think he fell asleep, let me check!” He says grinning and walks quickly towards their shared bedroom. 

“You guys are really close.” Hoseok comments. 

“Yeah.” He replies feeling a bit intimidated, after all these are men he used to admire as celebrities before joining the company, he still feels a bit out of place. It’s also his first time coming to their dorm.

“Does that bother you?” Kihyun asks raising an eyebrow. “You’re making him feel uncomfortable.” He adds with a chuckle to make it sound like a joke, but Hoseok has visibly shrunk. His mouth continues to spit words without his consent. Why does he care that much about what those two do? He’s the one that decided not to be friends with Hyungwon anymore so things are good with Kihyun, this shouldn’t bother him. 

“Hyungwon…” Minhyuk whisper shaking the sleeping boy.

“Huh?”

“Someone’s here to see _Wonie_.” He says with a giggle. Hyungwon rubs his eyes in confusion, at first he thinks about Hoseok because he used to call him that, but then he comes back to his senses.

“Oh! Hyunwook’s here? When, how?” Minhyuk shrugs. “It’s ok, thanks.” He stands up, still carrying his covers, and walks to the living room.

As soon as his eyes meet the younger boy’s face breaks into a smile, Hyungwon approaches him.

“You came?” He asks softly.

“Yeah, I wanted to surprise you I guess and take care of you… but seeing your face now I don’t know if it was a good idea.” He says trying to hide a pout. 

“No, no. It’s ok. Just taken aback. Thank you for worrying about me.” He smiles sincerely. 

“I'm glad, because I was not gonna leave when I just got here. That would be embarrassing.” He says crossing his arms and Hyungwon laughs a bit loudly. It’s like they’re in their own little world. “Are you feeling better though? Do you have a fever?” He places his hand on his forehead. Minhyuk is enjoying the view with excitement.

“I had it, but I took some medicine after talking to you and fell back asleep, so Im feeling better now.” Hyunwook nods understanding. “Come on.” Hyungwon grabs his wrist that’s still near his face and guides him softly towards his bedroom. His eyes meet briefly with Minhyuk who gives him a thumbs up, weirdo, and Hoseok’s who seems expressionless as usual for the past few months. 

They enter the room and Hyungwon goes straight to lay back down on his bed. Hyunwook closes the door behind them and finally they can talk at a normal volume.

“I'm sorry!” Hyunwook exclaims.

“I told you it’s ok.” He laughs. “I'm glad you’re here actually, you had never come over.”

“Yeah, I wanted to actually, I was curious.” He sits on the bed beside him.

“You should’ve told me, _Wookie_.” He replies jokingly and Hyunwook bursts in laughter. 

“What?!” 

“Minhyuk told me someone came looking for Wonie.” He props himself up on one elbow and the younger boy’s cheeks turn pink.

“It slipped.”

“It’s ok.” He chuckles.

“I like it though… Wookie.” He says with raised eyebrows.

“Oh my god…” They laugh. “I could use it ironically from time to time if it makes you happy.”

“You’re an asshole.” He says pushing him and causing him to fall back on the bed in laughter.

They stay in silent for a little while, Hyunwook’s hand has found its way through Hyungwon’s hair and he pushes the wild locks out of his face.

“You’re eerily affectionate lately, what has gotten into you?”

“Do you not like it?” Hyunwook asks immediately. Hyungwon shakes his head.

“It’s fine, I'm just pointing it out.”

“Hmm, I don’t know, it feels right. How do you feel about it?”

“Well, I’m naturally a touchy person when I reach a certain level of closeness to someone. I just didn’t want things to get complicated you know, I like where we are right now.”

“Yeah, I get it. I feel the same.” He pauses. “But…” He smirks and leans down, throwing one of his legs over Hyungwon’s hips to straddle him. “I’ve realized I really enjoy kissing you unpromptly, if that’s ok with you.”

“Hyunwook.” Hyungwon stops him placing a thumb against his lips, the younger boy tenses. “Im sick…”

“Oh, I don’t care.” He says relieved. Hyungwon takes a hold of his cheek then and brings their lips together in a slow kiss. 

His hands find their way to the younger boy’s waist, bringing their bodies impossibly closer, when the door opens abruptly. 

“Hey, is he having dinner with us or-?” Minhyuk gasps at the scene. “Shit, sorry!” Hyungwon and Hyunwook don’t even have time to process it, they just stay frozen in their position, staring at the now closed door.

“I want to die.” Hyunwook whispers after a moment and his face falls full of shame to hide on Hyungwon’s chest.

“You didn’t lock the door…” Hyungwon says slowly. “I have so much explaining to do now.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” He pats his head and chuckles.

“I think I should just leave, Im causing to much trouble.” 

“Hey, it’s ok-”

“It’s not.” He pouts. “I'm embarrassed. Do you think he’ll keep the secret?”

“Wookie…” The younger boy glares at him. “It’s Minhyuk we’re talking about, everyone already knows. As soon as he walked out of this room it was over for us.”

And he was right, as soon as Minhyuk walked outside he notified the other guys, Jooheon, Shownu and Changkyun now present too that Hyungwon was busy “eating something else”. Everyone's eyes widened as Minhyuk chanted “I told you!” continuously. 

“I'm gonna leave.” He stands up from on top of Hyungwon.

“You can have dinner with us, it’s seriously ok, I didn’t plan on hiding it forever anyways.”

“I'm too embarrassed to face them right now. I'm just gonna walk out quietly.” He sighs and Hyungwon lets him be. 

They walk outside and indeed everyone, except Hoseok, grins at them from the couch.

“T-thank you for welcoming me, I’ll see you guys another time.” Hyunwook says and bows at them before quickly walking towards the door. Hyungwon, who’s still standing by the end of the hallway that leads to their rooms can’t help but laugh a little as the younger boy, mortified, struggles with the lock and shuts the door behind himself. 

“We’re still just friends, nonetheless. So don’t make him feel weird, he might be around more often from now on.” He notifies the group.

“I'm happy for you Won.” Jooheon says with a dreamy smile.

“I knew it, but thanks for letting us know I guess.” Minhyuk adds sassily. 

“Im sorry.” He scrapes the back of his neck. “Hm, I’ll walk him to the door, be right back. Im ok with whatever for dinner.” He says feeling a bit embarrassed himself and walks outside to the hallway, to see if he can catch up with the other boy.

He walks all the way downstairs, thinking the other has already left but to his surprise, Hyunwook was sitting on a bench outside having a smoke.

“I knew you would come out.” He says with a smile and puts out the cigarette immediately, Hyungwon sits beside him.

“I'm a gentleman.” The younger boy chuckles. “Everything’s fine by the way, you’re welcome to come over whenever you want from now on.” Hyunwook smiles at this and they stay in silence for a couple of minutes. 

“You know what I would like? Since you always tell me that I should tell you about stuff, I want to share this with you.”

“Sure, what is it?” 

“I want to spend a night with you…” Hyungwon doesn’t understand at first, they’ve definitely been together during night time. “Like, sleeping with you and waking up with you.”

“Oh, I get it know.”

“I don’t know why, I just want to know what it feels like to do that with someone I guess.” There’s a pause. “I’ve thought about asking you to stay many times, but I just don’t think I trust my dorm mates enough. Maybe deep down that’s why I wanted to come here so badly, these guys are like brothers to you, I don’t want other to see you over too often because I don’t know what they could do with that information. Am I too paranoid? I think I'm ranting too…” he sighs.

“You are but you know I'm always willing to listen. Plus, you have a point there, it’s normal to feel like that at first, you are not being paranoid.” Hyungwon says and places a hand on his nape, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “About what you mentioned before, I promise you I’ll make it happen.” Hyunwook smiles.

“It’s ok, it’s just a stupid thought. Don’t think about it too much. What I really wanted to share with you what’s what I said afterwards I guess…” He frowns, confused with his own thoughts. Hyungwon finds it endearing. 

“Nothing you say is stupid, shut up, I swear!” He exclaims and Hyunwook chuckles. 

“Im gonna leave now.” He stands up.

“You sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” Hyungwon asks one last time.

“No, it’s fine. And I already left, I have to protect my pride.” He says fixing his imaginary tie, Hyungwon grins. “Come by tomorrow early, I’ll make you coffee and suck your dick.” He pecks his lips and starts walking away, hands deep in his pockets.

“Sounds like a plan.” He says loud enough for the other one to hear him, Hyunwook looks at him one last time and gives him a smirk before turning back around.

_

“So, is having sex with your friends like your kink or something?” Kihyun asks Hyungwon out of the blue as they do the dishes, which they had to do together because of rock, paper scissors. 

“Huh? What was that for?” He asks annoyed.

“Just a joke, just a joke…” Kihyun says with a grin.

“I don’t think we’re on joking terms Kihyun, so please retain yourself from it.”

“I'm actually glad you’re hanging with that guy. You may fool Hoseok but I know you like him, I'm not as dumb.”

“Don’t call him dumb, he is not.” He defends him, naturally.

“And you still protect him… Poor Hyunwook.”

“He has nothing to do with this, what the fuck.” He snaps. 

“He’s out there thinking about you but you’re still thinking about Hoseok, what a shame.”

“First of all I’m not, and second of all I already explained my relationship with Hyunwook. We are comfortable with it as it is and it’s way healthier than yours anyways.”

“You just admitted you like Hoseok.”

“You’re insane Kihyun…”

“Whatever, insult me all you want and criticize my relationship as much as you want, I know where I stand.”

“I didn’t insult you, you’re delusional.” He dries his hands off. “Just finish it off yourself, I’ll take care of tomorrow’s, I can’t bear standing next to you for another second. Just leave me alone, you have everything you wanted, you and Hoseok are together and you destroyed our friendship, what else do you want from me?” Kihyun stays silent so Hyungwon just walks away.

As he walks towards his room he comes face to face with a wide eyed Hoseok, who has been caught eavesdropping. 

“See the kind of guy you’re dating huh.” He says with a cynic smile and walks towards his room. He doesn't want to hurt him, but he hopes someday Hoseok realizes he deserves way better.

_

When Kihyun goes to sleep later that night Hoseok is already laying on the bed, he lays behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing a kiss on his nape.

“W-why do you bully Hyungwon because of me?” Hoseok asks with a cracked voice, he thought about if it was worth it to bring it up or not, scared of how Kihyun would react; but he couldn’t stay quiet. “Please let’s not fight, don’t break up with me. I just want to talk.” He says in panic and Kihyun, for the first time, feels a bit guilty.

“I just told him the truth. And why were you listening to our conversation?” He says firmly, quickly regaining his composure. Hoseok turns around in his arms.

“You called me dumb…”

“He misunderstood it, I didn’t mean you were dumb I meant that not realizing he likes you is dumb.”

“He doesn’t like me…”

“Oh Hoseok, for god’s sake, it’s fucking obvious he does. It has been obvious for years, I just chose to ignore it. Also who the fuck sleeps with their friends, that’s not how things work. He took advantage of you in a vulnerable situation to satisfy his desires, don’t try to deny it!” He says exalted. Hoseok places both hands on his cheeks to try and calm him down. “He’s using that poor guy to forget you and it shows.”

“Kihyun…”

“That’s my opinion, you won’t change my mind, So let’s stop talking about it.”

“Just please leave him alone…”

“Why are you defending him? You’re both like trying to protect each other as if I’m some villain, do you have feelings for him too huh?” He turns to lay facing the other side.

“You know I don’t, I just miss his friendship and I wouldn’t want him to get more hurt because of me.”

“How sweet.” 

“Ki…”

“Hoseok. If you don’t want to fight, let’s just leave it here. I'm trying my hardest.” And Hoseok obeys, dropping the topic. He moves closer to the smaller boy and motions him to turn back around, when he does he places a small kiss to his lips. 

“I love you.” Kihyun just kisses his forehead in reply and closes his eyes to sleep.

_

“ _Hey, wanna come over?_ ” Hyungwon texts Hyunwook a couple of days later. “ _We saw each other yesterday, do you miss me that much?_ ” Hyungwon rolls his eyes at the younger’s reply, they did have coffee yesterday but just briefly. He sends a zoomed in picture of his face with the message “ _I have a surprise for you_ ”. A picture of Hyunwook’s hand on a door knob comes attached to the message " _On my way_ ” and Hyungwon can’t help but laugh.

“I am still embarrassed about the other day…” Hyunwook says as soon as Hyungwon opens the door for him. “Have they forgotten?”

“I don’t think so.” He chuckles. “But they’ve been pressuring me to meet you, so you should have dinner with us tonight.” 

“Ok.” He smiles.

“Minhyuk is away though…” He says softly as they walk towards his room. “So, you can stay the night.” He says looking down at him.

“Oh.” Hyunwook’s eyes widen and his face turns red. “T-that was the surprise?” Hyungwon nods.

“You look like a tomato right now, it’s hilarious.”

“Shut up or I’ll choke you while you sleep.”

“You can choke me in-” He starts to say but Hyunwook covers his mouth quickly, at the same time Hoseok walks out of his room. The younger boy gives him a wide smile and a bow, which the older returns half heartedly.

“Does he dislike me or does he always behave like this?” Hyungwon shrugs. “I thought you guys were best friends before I met you, that’s what people said all the time.” He finally takes his hand off Hyungwon’s mouth. 

“Things change…” Hyunwook just nods, understanding. “About choking…”

“Ah, shut up, I know you’re not into that.” Hyungwon laughs. “So… Where’s Minhyuk? I actually wanted to hang out with him the most.” Hyunwook asks when they’re finally inside his room. 

“Family visit.” He sits down on his bed, the younger nods.

“So what should we do?” 

“We could watch a movie, or just hang out, or you could give me one of your miraculous massages. My back has been killing me this week.” He says dramatically.

“You’re really an old man. I shouldn’t be wasting my youth on you.”

“Hey, don’t be so harsh… Plus you can go date any young man you want, I won’t hold you back.” Hyunwook’s eyes stare at him strangely for a moment.

“I'm good for now.” He says back to his usual self, with a smirk. “Now lay down you hag.” 

Hyungwon takes off his shirt and does as told. Hyunwook sits on hi butt and works on his back for a couple of minutes, easing the tense muscles and earning satisfactory grunts from the taller man. 

“I feel better now, thanks Wookie.” Hyungwon says with a hint of mischief but to his surprise Hyunwook doesn’t nag him, he just runs his hands down his back and places a kiss at the beginning of his spine. Hyungwon’s heart does a flip inside his chest, and he feels chills run down his skin. Scared of his own reaction he manages to turn around, making Hyunwook fall to lay on his side with a giggle. 

He stares at the boy’s face for a moment, his bright smile and how his eyes have turned into crescents, and involuntarily leans closer for a quick chaste kiss.

“Thanks.” He repeats.

“You’re welcome.” Hyunwook replies taking out his phone. “There’s this funny video I wanted to show you, I was gonna send it but I forgot until now.” They huddle closer together and spend the rest of the afternoon like that.

_

“So yeah, that’s how I ended up joining Starship at last.” Hyunwook says finishing his story.

“Wow, well I'm glad. It’s a scary feeling, the possibility of having to quit after you’ve been through so much. I went through some companies too and debuted a bit late, so I know how it feels.” Hyunwoo replies. 

They’ve gone out to eat and even though the younger man was a bit shy at first, as time went by he loosened up and started talking comfortably with the members. Hyungwon felt content with their interactions.

“So, what’s your position?” Kihyun asks.

“Oh, I’m a vocalist.” He smiles. “Not as good as you though.” He laughs and Kihyun smiles flattered.

“I should listen someday.” He replies and Hyungwon’s surprised by his behaviour but he’s glad he’s being nice despite what happened the other night, he doesn’t want Hyunwook to get involved. He wishes Hoseok would talk to him, he thinks they would get along, but the older man has been mostly quiet the whole time. Their eyes have met a couple of times, Hoseok was kind of staring sometimes, but he doesn’t give it too much thought. He’s acting weird but he can’t do anything about it anyways.

They continue their meal and Hyunwook’s antics make the whole table laugh more than once. When Hyungwon stands up to pay for their food, Jooheon leans closer over the table to talk to Hyunwook who’s in front of him.

“I'm so glad you’re here.” Hyunwook looks at him confused. “Don’t tell him I told you this but he had been really gloomy for a while before he met you. So thank you for that!”

“You’re so cute.” He cries and Jooheon laughs. “But it’s no big deal, I barely had any friends... so I'm glad too!”

“We can be friends now.” He gives him a dimpled smile. “And wait until you meet Minhyuk, if he likes you which he probably will, he will never leave you alone.” Hyunwook chuckles.

“I wanted to meet him!”

“Yeah, it’s a shame.”

“It’s really weird that Hyungwon invited you today, it was actually him who was telling Min to stay the night with his parents. Since he used to live with them for a while I didn’t question it, I guess he knows them better, but it was really random.” Changkyun adds casually.

“Oh…” Hyunwook says softly, joining the dots in his head. “That’s weird yeah, but I can join for dinner any other time. I enjoyed it.” He smiles faking ignorance.

“We’re good to go.” Hyungwon says sitting back down. Hyunwook places a hand on his thigh under the table making him turn around flustered, the younger boy just smirks back. 

“Are you guys up for some coffee?” Hoseok asks standing up. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” Shownu replies and Changkyun, Jooheon and Kihyun stand up too. He wraps his arm around his boyfriend’s waist and looks down at the other too who are having a silent conversation with their eyes. 

“You coming?” He asks.

“I'm good, thanks.” Hyunwook replies with a smile.

“I’ll stay with him. See you guys later.” Hyungwon replies quickly after.

They say their goodbyes and everyone exits the place, leaving them alone.

“I know what you did…” Hyunwook whispers turning to look at Hyungwon again.

“W-what did I do?” 

“You set this all up, you sent Minhyuk away on purpose, because of what I told you the other night.” Hyungwon stays silent. “You really remembered it.”

“How could I forget it?” He sighs. “Who spilled?” Hyunwook laughs.

“It was Changkyun but it was totally innocent, I don’t think he has any idea of what you tried to do.”

“It’s whatever. Minhyuk got it straight away.” He sighs. “He’s always a step ahead.” Hyunwook giggles.

“Im flattered.”

“It’s nothing.” He replies looking down, hand scraping his neck.

“It’s extremely hot though.” He runs his hand slowly up his thigh. 

“Fuck, don’t rile me up in public. I beg you.” Hyungwon whispers.

They arrive to the dorms as quickly as possible and before Hyungwon can even open the door Hyunwook’s attached to his neck. Pressing kisses and sucking softly on his skin like his life depends on it. They finally get inside and Hyungwon grabs him softly by his wrist, leading the way to his bedroom, and locking the door this time. 

He presses the younger boy against it in a kiss as the other’s hands fist his shirt over his chest. 

“Get it off.” He whispers and Hyungwon complies. They continue kissing and Hyungwon wraps his arms around his waist, walking backwards towards his bed.

He sits down and Hyunwook immediately climbs over him pushing him down slowly, but Hyungwon holds himself up on his elbows. Hyunwook attacks Hyungwon’s collarbones, it’s a thing he likes to do, and he is never satisfied until he has completely covered them in red spots. He sucks and nibbles and Hyungwon just stares at him panting. When he goes lower and licks a wet stripe up his sternum, looking up at him with a smirk, he loses it.

“Fuck.” He grunts and sits back up, bringing the other with him. He grabs onto his ass and looks at him in the eyes. “You’re so hot.”

“I can say the same about you.” He replies with a smile and to Hyungwon’s surprise he caresses his cheek softly. “Let’s get naked, please. I can’t stand these jeans anymore.” He says going back to his sassy attitude and stands up. 

He gives the older a little show, taking a little too much time and moving his hips way too swiftly on every movement. Hyungwon on the other hand has quickly discarded his last two layers of clothing and is just sitting there, staring intently at him. When Hyunwook is completely naked and comes his way he climbs up the bed with a playful smile, making the younger boy chase him.

“Hey!” He exclaims and takes a hold of his wrists, pinning them down. “Can I suck you off?” he asks but Hyungwon shakes his head. Hyunwook, confused, let’s go of his arms and Hyungwon sits up, he moves closer to his ear and nibbles on his lobe. 

“I want to take care of you tonight.”

“Oh my god…” Hyunwook mumbles, his hard member is already driping pre-come against his stomach and Hyungwon’s just getting him even more aroused. 

“Is that ok?” Hyunwook nods and Hyungwon guides him to lay down, towering above him. 

“You’re something else Chae Hyungwon, you’re really something else.” He wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him down for another kiss. Hyungwon’s hand sneaks between their bodies and wraps around the younger’s member making him gasp. He works on him slowly as they continue to devour each other’s mouth, not long after Hyunwook starts bucking his hips up to the rhythm. 

“I just want you to feel good.” Hyungwon says with a smile and lowers himself. He grabs both his thighs and spreads them apart, pressing kisses and nibbling onto the warm soft skin. 

“W-with you it’s always good, I always feel so good hyung…” He replies in pleasure, earning back a smile before the other takes ahold of his member again. He gives it a few strokes before pressing a kiss to the head and taking it into his mouth. “Oh god!” Hyunwook exclaims, his back arching slightly over the mattress and his hands fisting the sheets as Hyungwon skillfully sucks and licks. He takes him down slowly and pulls out almost completely, he laps on his tip and uses his free hand to draw circles on his hip bone. “Wonie…” He says after a moment, in complete bliss. “Fingers, please.” 

“Lube’s on the bedside table.” Hyungwon replies pulling away completely. He stays sitting on his calves and gives himself a few lazy strokes, head hanging low and hair covering his eyes. Hyunwook finds this extremely attractive and props up to look at him. “Come here.” He demands and Hyungwon is pulled out of his trance. He scoots closer to him and the younger boy pushes his hair back, he lets his head loose exposing part of his neck, which Hyunwook immediately takes advantage of; he kisses his adam’s apple, his jaw, and then his lips. 

Hyungwon’s amused, he never knew the boy was such a kisser. For some reason not kissing too much was an unspoken agreement the two had settled on, but those barriers were slowly falling apart. When they pull away they smile at each other once again and Hyunwook bumps their noses together, then against his cheek and leaves a small kiss there. He instantly regrets it, as his face turns red and he lays back down, arms covering his face.

“That was too cheesy, I apologize.” Hyungwon laughs extremely loud and falls on top of him in a weird hug.

“You're so cute!” He chants, trying to remove his arms from on top of his face, but Hyunwook doesn’t budge.

“Get your fingers up my ass or else…” He threatens.

“What is Wookie gonna do to me?” Hyungwon sing-songs and the other, finally revealing his face, glares at him. “Fine.” He grabs the small bottle that’s close beside him and pours some of the liquid onto his fingers. Hyunwook smiles in anticipation and positions himself in a way it’s easier for both of them.

He opens him up slowly, making the boy whimper, never taking his eyes off him. Their eyes lock for a moment and they stare at each other intensely, Hyungwon smirks and Hyunwook rolls his eyes.

“You’re such a fucking tease.” He mumbles.

“And you need to watch your language.” He replies and continues to move his fingers until his finds his spot. He starts hitting it continuously, making the other moan breathily.

“I-Im ready, please Wonie…” He begs with glossy eyes and Hyungwon loses it.

“Fuck.” He whispers and something in his brain sets off. “You’re so pretty, you have no idea how pretty you look right now, how much I enjoy being like this with you, how good you make me feel Hyunwook.” He grabs onto his thighs and places them a little bit over his own thighs, as he’s still sitting on his calves, and holds one of them slightly to the side. It’s a weird position but he couldn’t care less at the moment. 

“F-fuck Hyungwon, fuck me please.” He exclaims as the older man positions himself. “Fuck me like you love me…” He whispers and it send Hyungwon over the edge. He pushes swiftly into him, his body coming to tower slightly over him and holding himself up with his free arm, and sets on a steady pace straight away.

Hyunwook is a mess below him, panting and moaning and whispering his name over and over again. 

“Good boy, you look so good, you feel so good.” He praises and it earns him a small smile. 

“Kiss me, I love it when you kiss me.” He requests in a bliss and Hyungwon tries his best to comply in their weird arrangement. Hyunwook giggles. “Wait a second.” He wraps his arms around his neck. “Pull me up.” He whispers against his ear.

They sit up, Hyungwon looks at him confused, but everything makes sense when Hyunwook sits on his lap and aligns himself back with Hyungwon before pushing down with a moan. He grabs on to his cheeks and kisses him deeply as he starts bouncing on his member, Hyungwon moans against his lips and can’t help but dig his nails into the soft flesh of his hips.

“C-close, close.” Hyunwook murmurs a couple of minutes later, lips puffy and glossy, Hyungwon gives his member a couple of quick strokes and helps him finish off with a loud scream. He covers his mouth with his palm. 

“The others might be back already…” He whispers. He tries to help Hyunwook off himself but the other boy shakes his head. 

“It’s ok, finish.” He continues to move slowly, up, down and rolling his hips.

“Almost there, almost there…” He hugs him tightly, face hidden on his neck, before he comes undone with a low grunt. Hyunwook sighs.

“Wow, that was a journey.” Hyungwon stares at him amused and laughs. The younger smiles and gets off him. He lays down sprawled, his chest moving up and down rapidly as he tries to catch his breath. 

Hyungwon goes to the bathroom and looks for wet wipes, to clean themselves up, and discards them when they’re done before laying down too. Hyunwook shyly scoots closer to him and places a hand on his chest. 

“Are you ok with cuddling?” He asks looking up at him and Hyungwon nods. The younger’s face breaks into a grin and he wraps himself to his side, head falls to his chest and he throws one leg over his waist, face nuzzling against his skin.

“Aw, a little cat.” Hyungwon says teasingly which earns him a pinch on one of his nipples. “Ouch!” He slaps his thigh and they laugh before the older pulls the covers to cover their lower halves. 

“Thank you, I was feeling too exposed.” Hyungwon chuckles.

“We need to talk, Hyunwook.” He points out after a moment of silence, the other boy tenses notably.

“A-about that, it was just a slip of the tongue. Don’t mind it too much, I was caught in the moment.”

“Hey, it’s ok.” He combs a hand through his hair soothingly. “It’s not just that, it’s just… A lot has changed lately, I'm sure you’ve noticed. I just want to know what you’re thinking, we should discuss these things.” Hyunwook nods understanding.

“How do you feel? About these changes?” He asks tracing circles over his skin.

“I feel good, I feel comfortable.” 

“Me too. I think… I just feel really save you know, after we talked that day, it’s not like I want to depend on you but I feel like I can trust you. Maybe I got a bit attached…”

“I think we’re both attached to each other.” He chuckles. “But in a good way, don’t get me wrong.”

“I didn’t.” He smiles.

“We’re friends, Hyunwook. And I enjoy physical contact a lot, but last time I became this close and comfortable to someone I ended up catching feelings. They obviously didn’t feel the same and after a lot of trouble now we don’t even talk to each other.” He pauses and looks at him, Hyunwook is staring at him confused and with a hint of fear of whatever Hyungwon might be getting at, so he continues quickly. “That’s why when I met you and all of this started, I was glad we silently agreed on keeping some distance. Not because I didn’t want to but because I was scared…” He confesses. “I was scared of getting hurt again, of having to stay away from someone I care about again.”

“Hyung…” He props himself up and looks down at him. 

“I feel like all of our barriers are falling apart and I don’t know if I should let myself give in or stop before it’s too late. You’re so bright Hyunwook, so full of joy, I wouldn’t bear losing that. That’s why I want to know how you feel about this, about us… I'm being really vague.” He laughs. “But I hope I'm making sense.”

“You are.” Hyunwook smiles and holds both his cheeks before kissing him softly. “I was scared too.” He rests his chin on top of his chest. “Somewhere along the way I realized maybe I wanted a bit more, but I liked the idea of things not being complicated and I felt like you were comfortable so I didn’t want to risk it all, you know?” Hyungwon nods. “But to be honest, the past few weeks, have been the best so far. I r-really crave affection… Feeling like this and like I'm worth it, are my happiest moments. That’s why talking to you really switched it for me and I decided to take some risks, I felt truly astonished when I realized you were giving back to my affection...” He says stumbling a little over his words. 

“Are you ok?” Hyungwon asks worriedly but the younger boy nods with a small smile. “We’re so stupid…”

“We truly are.” They laugh. 

“So… What does this mean for us?”

“I say we could give it a try…” He answers shyly, cheeks and ears turning red. 

“A try to what?” Hyungwon asks teasingly, clearly trying to mortify him. 

“Just because we had a deep and meaningful, full of emotion conversation, doesn't mean I won’t tell you to shut up.” He replies sassily.

“First of all watch your mouth because I am older than you. And second, how can you be this disrespectful while asking me to date you?” 

“Oh my god.” Hyunwook shrieks and hides his face in his chest.

“You’re all bark and no bite.” He ruffles his hair. “I say we should give it a try too, see how things go.” Hyunwook looks up.

“Yeah, we can take it slow, not many formalities, that’s cheesy.”

“Define take it slow, we literally just had sex. Have been for months.” Hyungwon says with a straight face and they burst in laughter. “Im messing with you, I understand what you mean and I agree.”

“Cool.” He gives him a bright smile. “So are we exclusive now, can I hold your hand and shit?”

“Wait, were we not exclusive already?” He raises an eyebrow and props himself up a little against the headboard.

“I may have kissed a guy or two when we first started seeing each other.” Hyunwook confesses now sitting up but still resting his arms on his chest. He points his index fingers together in a cute pose, Hyungwon scoffs. “But no sex.” He crosses his arms in a X shape with a serious facial expression.

“You’re so amusing.” He chuckles. “It’s ok, I wouldn’t hold it against you anyways, you were in your right. And yes, you can hold my hand, in certain occasions.” Hyunwook smiles brightly and leans down to peppers his face with kisses, Hyungwon chuckles.

“Hey, I don’t know if it’s wrong to ask but, your friend… Was it Wonho?”

“Yes, it was Hoseok.” Hyungwon confesses after a moment of silence.

“It’s ok, I won’t question you or ask, I just wanted to know.”

“It’s ok, I knew you were going to join the dots when I told you, you’re very smart. But you are the only person to know about this, he doesn’t know about it, not even the other guys know, that’s how much I trust you Hyunwook.”

“I won’t let you down Wonie. Don’t worry about it.” Hyungwon nods.

“I'm a bit tired… Should we sleep?” He asks lazily.

“Already?! You’re truly a hag… I'm rethinking my decision now.” He replies teasingly. Hyungwon quickly catches on to what he’s hinting and turns around abruptly, pushing the younger man against the mattress. 

“We have to be really quiet though, the others are definitely back already.” He whispers with his lips ghosting against the other’s. Hyunwook nods and Hyungwon can feel his heart beat faster against his chest in anticipation.

_

The next few weeks go by and Hyungwon and Hyunwook spend almost every spare moment together. They go on plenty of dates, visit each other constantly, and the younger stays overnight frequently. Everyone had noticed how close they’d become instantly but no one had asked Hyungwon directly until, obviously, Minhyuk. 

“Please don’t hate me for this…” He says out of nowhere. Hyungwon and Hyunwook, who were cuddled together watching a movie, take off their shared earbuds and look up from the laptop. “Are you guys dating now?” He whispers and Hyungwon laughs.

“We had a bet on how long you guys would take to ask that, and Hyunwook just lost.” Minhyuk laughs lightly as the younger rolls his eyes.

“What was the prize?” The pair turns to look at each other in giggles. “Forget it! I don’t want to know...” He shakes his head.

“But yeah, we decided to give it a try, it’s been almost 3 weeks right?” Hyungwon asks and Hyunwook nods with a smile. Minhyuk smiles fondly.

“I'm happy for you both.” He wipes an imaginary tear.

“It shows.” Hyungwon says with a chuckle. “Thank you for bearing with us though.”

“And for always going out of your way to make me feel comfortable.” Hyunwook adds.

“Ah, don’t say that. I know you would do the same for me. And Hyunwook, we are friends now, no need to mention that.” They smile at each other.

“Alright, I’ll go get some tea.” Hyunwook exclaims and kisses Hyungwon’s cheek before leaving his embrace and standing up from the bed. 

“Bring me some?” Minhyuk asks with puppy eyes.

“Of course!” 

“And me?” Says Hyungwon.

“Nah, stand up you lazy ass.” He says already by the door, he gives him a smirk before closing it behind him.

“Im gonna beat his ass one of these days…” Hyungwon says with a sigh but he’s smiling brightly.

Hyunwook walks over to the kitchen and bumps into Hoseok, who is boiling water for some instant ramen.

“Hey.” He greets him with a small smile and that older man returns awkwardly.

He walks past him and sets up the electric kettle, while he waits for the water to heat he looks for the tea bags and cups. He pretty much knows his way around the dorm already.

“T-those are Hyungwon’s clothes.” Hoseok murmurs, taking the younger by surprise. 

“Ah yeah.” He lets out a short laugh, looking down at the oversized shirt covering his body. “Unplanned sleepover, had to improvise.” Hoseok just nods and gives him a sided smile. 

“Is he ok?” He asks again. 

“Oh, yeah he is.” He answers trying to feign ignorance, even though by just conviving with them it’s obvious they don’t talk to each other. But he’s still careful so he doesn’t show he knows something or what Hyungwon had confessed to him. 

“D-does he talk about m-?”

“Hey!” Kihyun says entering the kitchen unaware of the conversation that had been going on. “Oh, hi Hyunwook, I didn’t know you were staying the night, didn’t see you in the morning.” He smiles brightly at him. Kihyun was very nice to him, he had even given him some vocal pointers after he had showed them a clip of one of his team’s practice. They were all rooting for his debut, Hoseok as always seemed mostly neutral to everything but he had gotten used to it already. 

He offers Hyunwook a fist bump and then turns around to kiss Hoseok’s temple, the older man instantly melts into his touch. Hyunwook had heard rumors around the company of the two being a couple, but after hanging around so constant he had confirmed it was true, so it didn't surprise him. 

“Hungry?” He asks and the other nods. “You could’ve told me, I could cook you something or we could’ve gone out.” He says pulling him closer by the waist as the noodles boil. 

“Just wanted something quick, we could go out for dinner though.” He proposes and Kihyun nods. They smile at each other.

“Hey!” Hyungwon shouts entering the kitchen, startling the three man inside. “Oh, Im sorry.” He says towards Kihyun and Hoseok. 

“Why are you being so loud?” Hyunwook scolds him. Hyungwon’s eyes land on the three cups set up in front of the man. 

“So you were gonna bring me the tea.” Hyungwon says acting touched.

“Of course I was you dumbass.” Hyunwook replies and the older man attacks him in a hug, he tickles his sides making him a mess of giggles. “Stop, I have a reputation to maintain.”

Hoseok has returned his attention back to the stove as Kihyun makes small talk, but he can help but eavesdrop on the other men’s interaction. He feels a pang on his chest, he remembers when the reason for Hyungwon to laugh like that was him. But he shakes his head lightly and replies to whatever Kihyun was saying.

“How much sugar for Minhyuk’s tea?” Hyunwook asks, Hyungwon is now hugging him from behind, face nuzzled in his hair.

“I honestly wouldn’t know… I know he likes it sweet though.”

“Put three teaspoons of sugar. That’s how I’ve made it for him before.” Kihyun answers. He’s resting against the counter now as Hoseok serves his ramen and looks for some side dishes. 

“Thank you.” Hyunwook smiles brightly at him and they finish off quickly. 

“No problem.” He smiles. “Are you guys dating now? You’ve been around more often lately.” He asks. “Not that I'm bothered, I think you’re cool, I'm just curious.” He asks sincerely.

“Yeah, we are.” Hyungwon answers breaking their embrace and a container, thankfully plastic, slips from Hoseok’s hand and onto the floor. 

“Oh, sorry. It slipped.” He shrugs it off and hides behind the refrigerator’s door once again.

“Well, congratulations. I was rooting for you guys.” He smiles and Hyungwon stares at him strangely but chooses to ignore him. As long as it’s sincere he obviously doesn't mind Kihyun trying to be friends with Hyunwook, but he stills keep an eye out because of the conversation they had that night. He takes a sip from the cup supposed to be his and hums pleasantly.

“Perfect.”

“Of course it is.” Hyunwook says proudly and takes the remaining two cups. “See you guys and thanks for the good wishes Kihyun.” He smiles at them before leaving the kitchen, Hyungwon following close behind.

“I guess I was wrong, I think he really has Hyungwon wrapped around his finger.” Kihyun says once they’re gone. Hoseok doesn’t reply and starts eating, trying to avoid the topic. 

Hoseok's words and Kihyun and Hyungwon’s interactions roam around Hyunwook’s head for a while as they continue to watch the movie, but he decides not to meddle in their business. If one thing he remembers clearly is Hyungwon mentioning he got really hurt, seeing how Hoseok and Kihyun are dating he can make up some ideas of what could’ve happened, but it’s not his place to question him. 

_

No matter how many days go by and how much he thinks about it, Hoseok can’t understand the tight feeling in his chest everytime he sees Hyungwon with Hyunwook. He can’t help but get jealous of their interactions, not because he has romantic feelings for him because he truly loves Kihyun deeply, but he misses what they used to have. He misses his hugs, he misses talking to him until late at night, he misses hanging out with him, he misses going out into the city without a plan, he misses his touch, he misses having him in his life and most importantly, he misses the person he was when he was around him. 

Hyungwon had gone out quickly to the convenience store, Hyunwook was coming over later and he wanted to surprise him with his favorite snacks. As he was walking down the halway to their dorm Hoseok stops him dead in his tracks. 

“H-hi…”

“Hi…” He replies confused.

“Can we talk? Just for moment.” Hoseok asks with trembling hands.

“Yeah.” Hyungwon replies softly, trying not to be rude but still skeptical about it all. 

“I’ve been feeling really weird lately.. I miss you a lot Hyungwon.” He says going straight to the topic and looks up at the taller man with glossy eyes. 

“Hoseok…” Hyungwon replies, not knowing how to react. 

“I miss what we used to have, I feel like, I haven’t been myself completely since we distanced from each other and I know it’s my fault, I know I fucked everything up that night, but I just can’t deal with this any longer. I don’t know what to do.” He breaks into tears. 

“Hoseok, this was your choice I-”

“I know! I know b-but, I just want to get things back to how they were.” He sobs. “C-can you please hug me?” 

And to his surprise Hyungwon does, he holds the older man into his arms as he cries into his chest. Hyunwook, who is hiding behind a wall nearby watching the exchange with interest, feels a pang in his chest at their interaction. Abruptly, he turns around and leaves the building.

“Hoseok, you need to calm down. Let’s go inside.”

“No!” He says pulling away. “Kihyun can’t see us he… you know he has this stupid theory that you had a crush on me. Now that you’re dating things could be better, but I'm still scared to ask him. Y-you know how he is…”

“Wait, wait, wait.” He chuckles but in disbelief. “You’re telling me you want things to go back to normal but you don’t want Kihyun to know? What exactly are you proposing? That I meet up with you in secret like a fucking criminal?”

“Hyungwon-”

“Don’t ever approach me again Hoseok, I’ve been trying my best to get better. You have no idea how much I suffered because of what happened, I won’t let you hurt me again!” He raises his voice a little.

“I'm sorry…” The older’s bottom lip trembles.

“I know you are. You are not a bad person and I can’t fucking hate you, but I can’t do this.” Hyungwon states firmly. “And for the record, I did have a crush on you. For years I did and I’ve been keeping it until today. So there you have it, there’s your reason to stop this madness and feel less guilty about it. I did like you, Kihyun was right, and when we had sex that night while you were broken up I was hoping for us to end up together.” He confesses and Hoseok’s face turns pale.

“Hyungwon…”

“Don’t even worry about it, my feelings are long gone. I'm just tired of bottling it in and being reminded of it constantly.” There’s a long silence between the two as Hoseok continues to cry and stare at him in disbelief. “I have to go, please let’s not do this again. You made your decision and I respected it, as I told you that day, I hope you respect mine.” 

He walks away, leaving a shocked Hoseok behind, and into the dorm straight to his room. 

“ _Hey, are you close?_ ” He textes Hyunwook. 

“ _Sorry, won’t make it today._ ” He receives not long after. 

“ _Oh :( Everything ok_?”

“ _Yeah, just not feeling too well._ ”

“ _Want me to come over? Are you ok?_ ” Hyungwon replies worriedly.

“ _It’s ok, just need some rest. Want to be alone for tonight._ ”

“ _I understand, just know I’m here for you._ ”

“ _I know you are._ ”

Hyungwon sends a simple heart emoji back and puts his phone away. He feels suffocated by the events that just happened, he really wanted to spend some time with Hyunwook, but he’ll have to deal with it on his own for tonight. 

_

“ _Can you come over? I have the room for myself today._ ” Hyungwon reads as soon as he wakes up and quickly gets ready. 

One of the other trainees let’s him inside the dorm and when Hyunwook opens the door to his room he shows him the bag of snacks from yesterday with a pout. 

“What?” The younger asks confused.

“I got your favorites, for yesterday, so I'm bringing them now.”

“Oh Wonie…” He pouts too and places them on his bed before he engulfs him in a hug, nuzzling his face on his chest. The taller man closes the door behind himself.

“I missed you yesterday. I really wanted to see you, but I'm glad you’re feeling better now.” He gives him a soft smile. 

“I don’t deserve you, I'm such a fool.” He says cradling his face with both hands and squeezing it softly.

“What’s wrong?” He asks confused and Hyunwook shakes his head.

“I'm just really stupid and acted very immaturely…” Hyungwon looks down at him with concern and then looks around, the ashtray on the boy’s bedside table catching his attention.

“Where you stress smoking all night?” Hyunwook doesn’t reply. “Hmm, I feel like you have something to say. I have something to say too, yesterday was definitely not a good day. But I'm down to listening first.”

“You’re such an angel, ugh!” He squeezes his cheeks a bit harder and then let’s go. “I think we’re gonna talk about the same exact thing.” He says fiddling with his fingers.

“What do you mean?”

“Hm… Yesterday I saw something I was not supposed to see uhm, in my defense I was just walking down the halway to get to you and I saw you guys talking and I didn’t want to interrupt you know. But then he was crying and you were hugging him, and I felt weird and, I'm not a jealous person obviously, but I felt like I was like intruding, since you guys have known each other for so long… And then I started questioning like oh wow, how can I ever compare to that.” He chuckles. “Like you guys have this connection and-”

“Wook…” He stops the boy’s rant and he stares up at him with wide eyes. Hyungwon holds his face softly, thumbs drawing circles along his cheeks and leans down for a soft kiss. “Please, don’t ever compare yourself to anyone. You are you, our relationship is ours and it doesn’t compare to anything I’ve experienced before, I want you to know that. Yes, me and Hoseok used to have a very tight relationship but things are not like that anymore and I think it’s time for you to know the whole story.” 

“Is this another story no one else knows and you’re gonna tell me because you really trust me?” Hyungwon nods with a chuckle. “Oh god.”

“It’s ok.” He smiles. “It w-would be nice to have someone to talk to about it… I’ve been bottling it in for many months. If that’s ok with you obviously.”

“Of course! I'm always here for you Wonie. Let’s just hmm, get more comfortable. C’mon.” They sit on his bed against the headboard, he sits facing Hyungwon’s side and takes one of his hands in his.

For the first time ever Hyungwon tells the whole story. He explains everything from when he was still a trainee and how his and Hoseok’s relationship developed, to how he helped Kihyun win his heart over, up until a couple of months before when everything broke out; how they slept together, how Kihyun found out and finally, how Hoseok decided to end their friendship to save his relationship.

“I’m so fucking pissed.” Hyunwook exclaims, indeed his ears are red and his eyebrows set into a frown. Hyungwon laughs lightly and eases it with his thumb.

“I don’t want you to change the way you behave towards them because of this… You are your own person and I'm aware that you are in no way involved with this.”

“I don’t care?!” He exclaims. “Kihyun, he seems so nice, but he’s the biggest bitch out there. And Hoseok… I feel bad for him but damn how brainwashed do you have to be to accept those type of terms…”

“Yeah… So, what you witnessed yesterday was like the cherry on top Wook I… He came up to me and told me he missed me and all this stuff that really really touched me, he said he wanted things to go back to normal, that he missed me and that he was not the same without me around him. I was like wow, maybe he finally realized, and it felt good. I obviously don’t have romantic feeling for him anymore but as you may guess after what I just told you his friendship was really important for me, so important I swallowed down my feelings for all those years.” He pauses for a moment. “So when I told him to calm down and that we should talk inside he told me Kihyun couldn’t know… And that just made my blood boil, he was implying we should meet up in secret! That’s ridiculous!”

“Oh my god…”

“Like, does he think I'm just a toy he can use and put away whenever he wants? I ended up confessing my past crush.” Hyunwook gasps. “Yeah, I was really mad and I thought even though it might be the biggest ego boost Kihyun’s ever experienced, maybe if Hoseok realizes Kihyun was right he will stop trying to propose this type of stuff to me and I can finally move on. I don’t want to get hurt again, because damn all of this has really hurt me. You have no idea how bad I was that month after we took our different paths… If I hadn’t met you, I don’t think I would’ve gotten better for a long time.”

“M-me?” 

“Yeah.” He smiles at him and kisses one of his hands. “Maybe I was way too fixated on Hoseok, you made me realize there’s other people out there. That I deserve to be treated with respect, even though you disrespect me a lot…” They laugh. “But seriously, it may sound dramatic but you really saved me in a way? I was so scared of trusting so deeply, so quickly, of building such a relationship with someone else. That’s why I always tiptoed around you at first, I was like what does this kid want from me.” The younger laughs loudly. “Don’t get me wrong, I was attracted to you, I just didn’t want to engage once again because I get too attached. But that party… After that party I knew I was fucked, quite literally.” Hyunwook chuckles.

“I… don’t even know what to say. I'm very overwhelmed right now, believe it or not my feelings are all over the place, I feel like bursting.”

“I hope it’s in a good way…”

“Yeah! I really like you Hyungwon, and meaning that to you… It’s honestly an honor. No matter what happens to us I promise you I will never hurt you, you mean too much to me. In such a short amount of time, you’ve become one of the most important people in my life and I treasure that trust you’ve put in me deeply.” 

“That’s more than enough for me.” He smiles warmly and Hyunwook leans in for a hug, they hold each other for a long time, just listening to the other’s breathing.

That same morning, when Kihyun and Hoseok woke up, the younger quickly realized something was off. 

“Hey, are you ok?” He asks Hoseok, who has been eerily quiet since yesterday. He swore he even heard him sob in the middle of the night. The older just nods. “Hoseok. Don’t lie to me, tell me what's going on.”

“I don’t want to fight…” He murmurs and Kihyun rolls his eyes. 

“What is it now?” 

Hoseok stays silent for a while, maybe now that Hyungwon is dating Kihyun will finally stop overreacting. Just as Kihyun’s patience was starting to run short, he speaks up.

“I talked to Hyungwon yesterday…” He confesses. Kihyun sighs and sits up.

“Not this again.”

“I miss him Ki, he was my best friend.”

“Hoseok…”

“You were right! He had a crush on me, he told me. But he doesn’t feel like that anymore, he’s dating now, I don’t see the problem with us being friends…”

“Seriously?! I see he finally spilled…” He laughs in disbelief. “So I was wrong about Hyunwook and about you not being dumb.”

“What?” Hoseok asks confused and sits up too.

“Hoseok, he is clearly using that boy to get your attention. Can’t you fucking see it?!” He exclaims.

“Kihyun please don’t get exalted…”

“I have the right. He is doing it on purpose and you fell right into it.”

“I don’t think it’s like that at all…” Hoseok replies in disbelief, he quickly realizes trying to reason with his boyfriend is useless.

“You’re always so clueless, I’ve been telling you for the longest time.”

“Kihyun I think you’re making things up, Hyungwon and Hyunwook seem really happy together. He doesn’t have feelings for me anymore, so I don’t see the problem with us being frien-”

“Are you serious? My boyfriend is out there begging the man that used to have a crush on him and who he slept with to be friends again and I'm supposed to be ok with it?” He laughs.

In that moment Hoseok's eyes fill with tears, his chest hurts and he has never felt as powerless as right now. 

“If you truly loved me you would want me to be happy!” He blurts before he can stops himself. Kihyun’s face contorts. “Kihyun Im sorry…” 

“No, I completely understood. If Hyungwon’s the one who can truly make you happy I respect that, I won’t fight with you anymore. You should figure out your feelings because I seriously think you like him and I am tired of this.” He stands up from the bed and paces around the room.

“I'm the one that’s tired…” Hoseok says in between sobs. 

“Then let’s just end this Hoseok!” He screams. “For real this time…” He quickly regains his composure, he doesn't want to look like the villain anymore. 

“Kihyun…” He pleas. “I love you, what else do I have to do to prove it to you? You’re always so drastic and that’s why we never get over stuff.” He sniffs.

“No.” He says firmly and turns to look at him with a cold stare. “I am over this, you’ve proven enough.” He exits the room and Hoseok is left confused and frustrated. He lets out a loud scream and breaks down crying.

_

“ _Hey, it’s Hoseok._ ” Hyunwook receives by text a couple of days later. “ _I got your number from Minhyuk, I hope you don’t mind…_ ”

“ _Hey, it’s ok, why would I mind?_ ”

“ _Oh, Im relieved… I don’t know, I’ve been really awkwards towards you. But I really need your help, can we talk?_ ”

That evening he asks Hyungwon out to some cafe near the company. When the older man arrives his face instantly breaks into a smile as he walks closer to him.

“Hey there.” He ruffles his hair with affection.

“Hi.” Hyunwook replies shyly and Hyungwon instantly notices how nervous he is.

“Are you ok?” He asks worriedly.

“Please don’t hate me… I just, didn’t know what else to do ok? I felt bad for him.”

“What are you going on about Wook?” Hyungwon replies with a puzzled expression.

“Hoseok’s inside… He wants t-to talk to you and he asked me to bring you here because he said he wanted to talk to you but you wouldn’t listen to him if he tried. Please don’t hate me Hyungwon!” He exclaims and the older sighs.

“Why would I hate you? You’re just a good boy.” He gives him a soft reassuring smile. “What doesn’t sit right with me is that he is using you to get to me when last week he wouldn’t even look at you.” He frowns.

“Just… talk to him. We talked for a while, I don’t think he is a bad person.” He pouts.

“I know he isn’t… I’ll talk to him, you wait for me yeah? I’ll be quick.”

“Hyungwon…”

“I’ll listen to him… I'm not an asshole.” He chuckles.

“I know you aren’t.” He caresses his cheek softly but quickly pulls away since they’re in public. 

“Sit here, I’ll order something for you and send it over.” He squeezes his hand and Hyunwook nods.

He enters the place and Hoseok’s head instantly turns to look at him, he was watching their exchange from inside. He goes over to the counter first and orders Hyunwook’s favorite drink to be delivered to his table, before sitting in front of Hoseok.

“Why did you do this?”

“Y-you wouldn’t have come over… You told me to stay away.” Hyungwon runs a hand down his face.

“I’m… I meant it but you didn’t have to take it so seriously, I'm not a monster Hoseok.”

“I know you aren’t, and I know I hurt you and I know it was cowardly of me to use Hyunwook like that but I had already sent him the text and he replied right away… There was no going back.” The younger sighs.

“What do you need?” 

“I miss you...” 

“We talked about this before Hoseok I-”

“I know… but it’s ok now, Kihyun broke up with me.” He chuckles bitterly but his eyes are filled with tears. “It’s been a couple of days already.”

“Hoseok, we’ve been through this before, and I'm gonna say this as nicely as possible… but I won’t let you use me as your shoulder to cry on.” He says looking straight into his eyes.

“W-won…”

“In a couple of days, when you guys get back together, I'm gonna be pushed aside once again and I can’t let it happen.” He says firmly.

“We won’t get back together I s-swear. I’ve been thinking a lot these days I’ve been basically completely alone and I think you were right… It was not good for me, that’s why I haven’t tried to insist with him and I'm here talking to you…”

“I'm glad Hoseok, I really am.” He says truthfully. “But it doesn't erase the fact that the only reason you come back to me is when you and Kihyun have an argument… I need you to understand how this whole situation looks to me right now.”

“I understand…” He sobs. “I just, wanted to let you know and try one last time. You’re really important for me Hyungwon and I’m sorry for everything I made you go through all these years. I truly do love you and I always will.” Hyungwon’s eyes are the ones to fill with tears this time. “I hope someday you can forgive me and things can go back to how they used to.”

“I will always love you too but it will never be like before Hoseok… Some things can’t be fixed that easily.”

“I understand.” He looks down.

“I’ll be heading out now.” He says standing up from the table.

“Thank you for listening to me.” He looks up at him with a sad smile. Hyungwon only nods before exiting the place.

Hyunwook, who was taking the last sip from his drink, stands up as soon as he walks outside. He looks up at him with with inquisitive eyes.

“Are you ok?” Hyungwon nods and ruffles his hair again. “He’s crying…” He points at Hoseok inside. “What happened?”

“I’ll explain on the way… Can I stay with you tonight?” He asks.

“Yeah, roommate’s still away.” 

“Let’s go then.” He grabs his wrist softly and they walk slowly as Hyungwon explains the conversation that just happened. 

“So… You forgive him?”

“I haven’t if I'm honest with you… But I hope what he said is true and that he can heal from all this and become the Hoseok I used to know.”

“You’ll forgive him eventually, you guys just need time. Your feeling are completely valid.” Hyungwon smiles down at him, sun has already set and they’re by the entrance of the building already. He looks around quickly and gives the younger a quick kiss on the lips. 

“Hey!” He looks up at him daringly and Hyungwon laughs.

“I'm sorry you got involved in all this… This is what I feared the most. You have nothing to do with this mess and I don’t want you to worry about it.” He says suddenly serious. Hyunwook shakes his head lightly.

“Whatever worries you worries me, I'm here for you! And I'm the one that’s sorry, I should’ve told you he contacted me… But it was all too quick, he explained me what happened with Kihyun and all but I thought he deserved to be the one to tell you all that, you get me?” Hyungwon nods. “I know how much he meant and still means to you even though you tried to hide it so I thought in the long run you would regret not talking to him. Also I didn’t want to take away the opportunity of having a change of heart from you.” He says jokingly.

“What do you mean? Did you... think I would leave you to make a move on him?” 

“It was a joke…” 

“No, Wook.” He holds his cheeks softly. “I don’t want you to think like that even as a joke. I know how you are, if you’re saying it it’s because you seriously thought about it at some point.” Hyunwook pouts. 

“I'm sorry.”

“Do you remember what you told me the first time you slept at my dorm?” Hyunwook stays silent confused. “I do already… I do love you.” He confesses and Hyungwok’s face first turns red, remembering what he said while they were in bed, and then his eyes fill with tears.

“Y-you do?” Hyungwon nods and leans down to kiss him properly this time. “I love you too…” He whispers against his lips and wraps his arms around his neck to hug him tightly. “Can I be your boyfriend then?” He asks close to his ear and Hyungwon chuckles before pulling apart but still holding him close by the waist.

“You already were, kinda. We just never said it out loud.”

“No, I need a proper proposal.” He crosses his arms over his chest. 

“But you are the one proposing…” He replies in disbelief.

“Hm, I take it back then, I pass it on to you now.” Hyungwon laughs loudly. “I need a fancy date, then we walk around some beautiful scenery, you ask me out with flowers or something cute, then we come back to one of our dorms and you make love to me all night.”

“You’re seriously something else…” He replies amused.

“Take it or leave it.” Hyunwook says trying to maintain his serious face but he ends up laughing.

“I’ll make it happen.”

“I'm clearly joking.” He cackles.

“However, the making love all night part… we could get over that one right now.” Hyunwook slaps his chest pushing him away.

“You’re disgusting.” He walks away.

“But you love me like that!” Hyungwon exclaims running after him and hugging him from behind. 

“Sadly, I do.” The older presses a soft kiss at the beginning of his spine and his face breaks into a smile. 

They banter with each other as they go up the stairs and greet some of the other trainees in between laughter. Once they’re inside Hyunwook’s room their lips instantly attach to each other’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, back in 2017 I posted the first part of this story, then last year out of nowhere I decided to add a second part to it and turn it into a series. However, I continued to think about it every now and then... So I decided to add a 3rd part! Because my brain thought it was a good idea. Deep down I just didn't want it to end like that, so I hope this is nice enough and that it blends well with the rest of the story. 
> 
> As I said last time, my way of writing has probably changed a lot, I noticed that this one was more broken scenes compared to the last two parts, but I hope everyone was able to read it nicely. Also this was more Hyungwon centered than the last two parts, which I think was necessary. I still left kind of an open ending but I hope it's to your liking, my intention with this story from the start has never been a perfect happy ending, so I think what happened here was appropiate. I think I can FINALLY let go of this story, if I come back next year or in two years with another part please punch me. 
> 
> I would like to know what you guys thought of this and, about Hyunwook, I want to know if you guys imagined him as any specific idol or actor. I was not able to give him a face so Im curious to know what everyone thinks. 
> 
> With that being said, goodbye to his story, for real this time. Everyone be happy, stay happy and Monsta X will always be 7. :)


End file.
